I have to admit, I enjoyed all of the comments you guys posted. I've totally dealt with people who reenact their "Macho" scenarios.
I laughed pretty hard with that one youtube of Seinfeld. Jesus.. it's bad bro. It was that bad.
I was at work today and I have another co-worker that a has a tendency to:
1) Talk about herself.
2) I can actually hear her chew her food.. three offices down from me.
She's a very nice person.. but she has a tendency to purposely try and be the center of attention. If she's talking on the phone to her boyfriend, she'll pretty much declare it to the whole building. I can actually hear the lady with my door closed.. must be the vents. There was one conversation she had.. that was just classic. It was sounded harmless at first and then it just turned for the worst:
"Baby, I was thinking... Should we eat El Pollo(Fast food restaurant that serves chicken related products) tonight?"
(Bf responds... obviously I can't hear him)
"Oh. I just thought it would be nice... we'd have kind of a romantic evening."
(Bf reponds...)
"Look... you know I can't cook."
(Bf responds...)
"What do you mean we eat El Pollo all the time?"
(Bf responds...)
"You're such an asshole, you know that?"
(Bf responds...)
"Look... I've told you. I said I'd try it once. I just didn't like it. It was a mess and I was all embarrassed."
(Bf responds...)
"Hey asshole! What do you expect? You stick in there, you're going to get shit!"
Yeah.. the girl curses like a sailor and I have to admit.. she looks like one too. I'm pretty sure most of the people who have their own offices heard little buttocks story and let's just say she's somewhat avoided at all times. Why do people always have to blare out their business to everyone...I do not know.
And her eating.. it's so loud. I don't know if she has some sort of breathing problems.. but I'll literally hear her chewing her food. Like "NOM NOM NOM NOM." The girl really enjoys her food.
I've heard her fart on occasion. She sometimes stays late and she thinks no ones in the office and she'll just cut one. I'm not talking about a weeny fart. I'm talking about those farts (Hey.. we've all fart) where it sounds like a demolition team taking out decrepit buildings. And get this.. she'll literally laugh outload from her own farts!!! What the hell!
I can't make this up... I can't..
Initially this was supposed to be a motivational site, but it just turned to poop over the last few months. I figure I'd make it satirical and sarcastic. Booyah!
Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Give thanks
I'm thankful that I managed to avoid a traffic ticket today. Allegedly I was going 29 mph over the speed limit.
Cop: Sir, Do you know you were speeding?
Me: Well... no I didn't sir... but honestly speaking.. Me speeding is the furthest from my mind right now.
Cop: Really. Then what the hell is on your mind son.
Me: I've been having the stomach flu for the past week. I've literally been on the toilet every other hour.
The cop proceeds to laugh and laugh. Tears rolling down his waxy mustache.
Cop: Get the hell out of here son.
So yes.. I am thankful that I avoided a speeding ticket today...but ow...my pride..
An Educated Guide To Speeding Tickets-How To Beat Avoid Them
Cop: Sir, Do you know you were speeding?
Me: Well... no I didn't sir... but honestly speaking.. Me speeding is the furthest from my mind right now.
Cop: Really. Then what the hell is on your mind son.
Me: I've been having the stomach flu for the past week. I've literally been on the toilet every other hour.
The cop proceeds to laugh and laugh. Tears rolling down his waxy mustache.
Cop: Get the hell out of here son.
So yes.. I am thankful that I avoided a speeding ticket today...but ow...my pride..
An Educated Guide To Speeding Tickets-How To Beat Avoid Them
Labels:
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jerks,
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speeding,
stomach pains
Monday, December 28, 2009
give thanks again and again..
I know I missed yesterday, but I caught some wicked stomach flu from the day before. It was wicked...
1) I'm thankful that I'm feeling better. I can actually eat some chicken noodle soup without having to hurl it right back out.
2) I'm thankful at the fact that I actually finished eating Frosted Flakes without having to hurl it right back out.
Deja vous.. I know..
TS171 Frosted Flakes Tony the Tiger They're Gr-r-reat Junk Food T-Shirt Select Shirt Size: Large
1) I'm thankful that I'm feeling better. I can actually eat some chicken noodle soup without having to hurl it right back out.
2) I'm thankful at the fact that I actually finished eating Frosted Flakes without having to hurl it right back out.
Deja vous.. I know..
TS171 Frosted Flakes Tony the Tiger They're Gr-r-reat Junk Food T-Shirt Select Shirt Size: Large
Labels:
cereal,
chicken,
frosted flakes,
hurl,
puke,
sick,
soup,
thankful,
Tony the Tiger
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