Saturday, September 18, 2010

My land lady.. Mrs. Heffhauser.

I have a crazy land lady that is a fan of booze. Chug a lug. Chug a lug.


She has tendencies of knocking on my door at around 1am in the morning for the most dumbest reasons. This 50 year old lady will literally walk up to my stairs and will knock and knock and knock until I open the door.



*Knock Knock Knock*




"Yes, Mrs. Heffhauser?"

"Hey (my name), did you know that they actually play old game shows on Nick at Nite sometimes?"

"Uh.. No I didn't, Mrs. Heffhauser."

"I thought you Orientals... knew everything?"

"Um.. actually I failed math in high school."

"Then you're not Oriental. You're White like me."

"Uh.. ok Mrs. Heffhauser."

"You're a good guy (my name). There's some shnapps and some some chardonnay in the fridge if you want some."

"Thanks for the offer, Mrs. Heffhauser, but I need to be up for work in about five hours so I'll be needing my sleep."

"You Orientals, are so hard working. Jesus by golly, you guys need to just relax a bit and enjoy life. Bunch of ants you are.."



So yeah.. I swear I live in a town filled with crazy people. And what the hell? Orientals? Am I in the 1800's? Should I be drinking some phosphate and ask some drinks to a soda jerker?


And like most of you guys are wondering..no she's not trying to get in my pants. She's just a genuinely lonely person. I don't think her kids want to hang out with her since she's not exactly normal. But she means well. She'll occasionally will leave plates of cookies at my doorstep.. but will fail to realize that ants will get into it.. I haven't had the heart to tell her ...

42 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. She seems like a sweet old lady. Loving your blog more with each post btw.

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  3. Perhaps if you get a day off you should chill with her for a day if she's very lonely. It would mean the world to her plus if you run into rough times she might be more lenient if you're late on rent.

    Now excuse me I need to fix my horse and buggy and musket fixed up before the Confederates or the Canadians try to attack again.

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  4. stop being so sensitive to "oriental" vs. "asian". i'm oriental. it means "from the orient" or "from the east".

    you know who introduced the politically correct "asian" to us orientals? stupid white people.

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  5. dude! what the hell? hahaha

    crazy stuff happening to you all the time?

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  6. Showing my DAILY support,I REALLY need yours aswell!!

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  7. You live an exciting life, my man :)

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  8. u should make a song about Chug a lug Chug a lug

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  9. lmao sounds like the old landlady i had haha epic lulz

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  10. awww, thats funny but kind of strange. have you seen the will farrel clip with the little drunk landlady girl? thats funny stuff

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  11. Crazy Neighbors, kinda feel bad for her though...

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  12. How the hell do you get in these situations?!

    keep up the good work!

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  13. I really love people sometimes, great post.

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  14. Yeah she seems nice, a little weird and annoying although ^^

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  15. Just sounds like she wants some company. Leave it to old people to be the most racist people in the world.

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  16. Eh think Mrs Heffhauser is eh pretty cool guy, she makes cookies and doesnt afraid of anything.


    Much love and a lil currency support going your way bro!

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  17. For the love of God and to get a decent night's sleep, have a drink with her at 9 PM!

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  18. Sounds like a great neighbor haha

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  21. Be happy she is not like this!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUxBWux5DC0

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