Link Bucks! *update*

I heard that LinkBucks is another way of getting some revenue.  Let's see if this is the case.

Ok, I took out the annoying link. I don't think I want to do this.


Playing hookie is sweeeet. Take that job!

Also, I don't see a point in having you guys posting your URL. I know what you're URL is. Don't worry. I got you.

Lupita and Starbucks girl...

So I actually left her a note.  Obviously, I didn't go that crazy with the sarcasm. 

I actually bought her a card from one of those Hallmark Stores and I pretty much wrote:

Dear Lupita,

Thanks so much for being so nice to me. I appreciate the fact that you clean my room first.  My girlfriend (wink wink) came in the other day and commented on how clean my office was.  I told her that it was all because of you.


Thank you again.
Mr. Smith



See?  It was very politically correct.  I let her know subtly that I had a girlfriend (granted it's imaginary) and hopefully that'll put a stop to things.  Hopefully.  I'm sure I'll get a response from her.

On my way to work today, I decided to pick a cup of joe from Starbucks.  There is this really cute girl that works there.  She's probably in her early to mid twenties.  She's about five foot four.  She's either Chinese or Korean.  She has big eyes and her smile is just makes my knees buckle.

"Hi? What can I get for ya?"

"Uh.  I'll just have a black coffee.. venti."

"Not a problem.  How's your day coming along?"

"Huh?"

I wasn't expecting a conversation with this cute girl and I stammered... and I blurted out something so retarded...

I said, " Why do you want to know?"  I have a feeling I might have shouted at her ... I'm probably blocking all this mentally. 

WTF.  The girl just gave me a look. A look of disgust.  She rolled her eyes and began to making my coffee.

She made my coffee, called out my number and began giving me the cold shoulder.

I wanted to apologize, but the little balls that I had left were no longer there and I retreated into my car.


I'm such a dumbass.. I swear.

Nujabes makes me relaaax....

It's been yet another short weekend.  I've been looking at job postings for the past weekend.  Apologize for the delayed posts, but fuggit about it.. 


Thanks for all your posts.  Yeah, I'm really looking forward to the next couple of weeks.  I think it's the cleaning lady as well.  We'll just call her Lupita.  I'm thinking about writing her a "Dear John" letter.  I think it'll go something like this:

"Dear Lupita,


Thank you so much for the sentiments(I don't think she'll understand what sentiment means)...I mean for you caring and taking the time out of your busy hectic schedule and cleaning my office first. 

I really like the fact that you leave all these little trinkets, candy....I mean mexican candies (LUCAS).  And I like to note.. the Virgin de Guadalupe candle was really touching.  I like how you purposely try and talk to me in your broken English even when you notice me packing up my laptop away and putting my headset on it's charger.  I love the banter we had.  Especially our little quips with you asking me, "BASURA?" and then proceeding to point at my shoes and my dress shirts.  I love how you laugh at your own jokes and then gingerly sniff my jackets/coats right in front of my face and giving me the, "I'm looking sexy at you" look.

Your smile is so priceless.  You always seem to gingerly place a butterscotch where your front tooth should be. It's subtle yet intriguing.

Your butterscotch smile.  I can't help but not eat them anymore.  In honor of you, of course.

Alas(Too hard to understand) Unfortunately...I think it's time for us to close this chapter.  You're too good for me.  You have children and I just broke up with my ex not too long ago.  The maturity level is just skewed bad.  I'm too inexperienced not good for you.  I think we should move on with our lives.  I probably won't be here for long and I know the only way you get a hold of me is in person or on my desk line.


Let's just cherish the moments we've had and look forward to a brighter future.


Love,

Mr. Smith

I think it's about time...

that I quit my job. 

Maybe I'm being too dramatic here.  There's a crapload of people out there that are unemployed and barely making ends meet.  But, feeling like I'm in hell everyday doesn't seem that appealing to me.  The constant calls from customers demanding results..

So I've decided to give myself until the end of September to decide what I want to do. 


Should I go back to school?
Should I go back into Sales?
Will it be different if I work for a different company?

So on to something I found quite unusual at work today:

Someone seems to be leaving little presents at my desk.  Sometimes it'll be a piece of candy.  Sometimes a card, but nothing is written inside of it.  Sometimes they'll organize my office.  Sometimes they'll doodle happy smiley faces on my notepads and post-it notes. 


Yeah.  Smiley faces...

I have no idea who it might be.  I'm really hoping it's not the janitorial ladies that clean up late at night.  There were instances where I'll be working late at night and I'll see them and say, "hello".  One of them had a few teeth missing and she'd always clean my office first... please God.. don't let it be her..


I'm sure I'll probably find out soon enough..

To the black lady that slapped her obnoxious child upside the head...

I'd like to say:

Thank you.  Your kid was driving me nuts with all the screaming and cursing she was doing near the water fountain...

You made my day. 


I seem to have a lot of work related issues/incidents..but here's one that really just felt uncomfortable.

It's a bit uncomfortable to read, but I'm sure you'll be fine with it.

So here I am using the restroom.  Not #1, but #2 mind you.

When out of nowhere, I hear some guy talking on the phone. 

Hell.. he's probably going to take a leak and mosey on out. 

No.   the dude hunkers on down to the stall next to me and starts rummaging through the ass gaskets and apparently finds the one he likes to use for his bomb raids...

Before I continue...I have a confession to make. 

I'm very shy when it comes to someone bodily functions.  I remember as a kid I would wait until everybody peed before I could do my business.  I think it had something to do with an incident when I was nine or so.  I was taking a leak at DisneyLand and this lumbering 50 year old pedo stands next to me and just gazes and my privates.  I mean seriously.. I'm small to begin with.. there's nothing really to see.  The mofo traumatized me. 

So back to the toilet escapade.


So obviously, I don't like want to continue my business when someone is around so I patiently wait.

I wait some more.

I try to play some BrickBreaker on my phone to pass the time. 

By now, the guy hung up his phone and was quiet as well.

I coughed.  Waited and nothing. 

Maybe he took a ninja dump and disappeared like a fart in the wind.. Peeked down and saw his shoes.. those ever loving slip-ons.

I finally came to the conclusion that were basically doing some sort of Mexican stand off.  The guy was obviously waiting for me to begin so he could do his bodily functions as well. 

I refused.  Sweat began to form on my face.  I heard the guy grunt.  I played it cool and just puckered up. 

What felt like 2 hours was in fact two minutes. 

The guy finally caved.  And man did he cave.  It felt  and sounded like he was releasing pure spiteful poop devils  from his bowels.  Few seconds later, the smell kicked in.  I gagged a bit.  My eyes started tearing up.  I tried plugging my nose and then realized that i was probably eating his ass particles from breathing with my mouth open...

The dude flushed four times.  Called someone up again and then proceeded to leave restroom without washing his hands.

Long story short:  I couldn't even #2.  I ate ass particles.  I think I'm constipated now.

Finally at home.

Just got back from work.  What a pain in the butt that was.  11pm and I'm finally home.

I'd like to continue my rants about work:


I had an interesting conversation with one of my customers:



A: Yeah, after the billing review, I was wondering if you had some time for dinner?
ME: Well uh um...that was somewhat off topic.

A: I know.. I'm sorry if I threw you for a loop there. 
ME: Uh.. I know.. I mean. It's alright... but I'm just your consultant.

We have a ten second pause here.  I make the occasional cough and I'm scared shitless...


A: So are you good with children?


Ok.. that pretty much took the cake there.  AM I GOOD WITH CHILDREN?!  Lady, you're fifteen years older and you want to date me?  So you're asking me if I'll get along with your kids?  I mean jeez, I met you in person a total of two times and I've talked to you on the phone (BUSINESS RELATED) about a dozen times. 

To make a long story short... I pretty much said I couldn't make it.  Who knows, I might lose the account over this uncomfortable incident. 

But... to all the other ladies out there.. yes.  I am great with kids. 

Date night with Mr. Smith

So to preface my date, I met her at the bookstore.  She caught my attention from the way she was playing with her hair.  She wasn't just twirling it with her finger, but she was actually nibbling on it as she was reading. She had a dark auburn hair that draped over her shoulders and her bangs were cut in a way that you could tell that she cut them herself. 

I was immediately attracted to her.  Her clumsiness is what sparked my interest.  Also, her choice in books (Adult Romance novels.. I kid.  I kid) is also something I found hot and sexy.  Your writer, Mr. Smith had puppy love for this girl.  Her light brown hazel eyes made me turn to mush.  I was sputtering and stammering in inchoerent sentences to see if she was interested in having some coffee with me. 

She looked at me for a few seconds and you could tell she was trying to see what was inside of me. Trying to size me up.

Was I going to hurt her?

Was I going to make her cry?

"Sure. Let's go"

My heart jumped out of my chest and ran up to my throat.  She slowly got up from the floor and we walked out of Borders Bookstore and went into a coffee shop.   She had your typical white tank top and a brown khaki shorts. Your summer gear.  She wore these sandals that lazily followed behind her feet. The clipped and clopped as the sandals hit her soles.  It was cute.

"What would you like to have?"

"What do you think I'll like?"

I cursed at myself silently.  I was never good at reading people nor pleasing them.

I order two mocha chocolate coffee.  It was getting kind of chilly that night so I asked that they make it hot for us. 

As were waiting for our drinks to be made.  I start to make small talk.

We find out that she's originally from Chicago and was here to check out some job opportunities.  She's been here for a few weeks and she still hasn't decided what she wanted to do. 

I sympathized with her and told her that it must be tough especially in this day and age to find a job worth pursuing. 

Coffee is finished and as I'm walking to a table, she begins to walk towards the bookstore again.

Puzzled...I call out to her.

"I just got a call from my boyfriend.  He's waiting for me at the parking lot for me.  It was nice meeting you."








FUCK.

Goodnight sweet prince..