Whatever you do, take a shit before you drive to work.

I live in a heavily congested area and I should have known this.  But, I was late and I really needed to get into work on time.

Please also keep in mind that I had a humongous as dinner.  Fast Food feast.  It truly was.

Me being the dumbass that I am decided to take off before my daily ritual.  

Fast forward ten minutes and here we are.  I'm stuck in traffic.  I really gotta take a crap.  I feel the bubble guts coming along. 

You know what I'm talking about.  You want to fart, but you're too afraid to open the flood gates type?


God, if I crap my pants on the way there, I'm going to kill myself..